When life doesn’t give you lemons… use acid.

A gentlemanly robot named Mr. Squeeze was selling some lemonade on the side of the road. It was a hot day so I decided to stop by and see what was going on. I guess this bot is selling the Lemonade for the Master Jimmy Foundation to support his local delinquent – Master Jimmy. He’s everyone’s favorite delinquent! I was a bit concerned when Mr. Squeeze said that he wasn’t able to find any more lemons so he had to make do with ingredients that were less… ideal.

Well, whatever. It’s got a zing! I’m defiantly going to get this recipe and its adult version of the “hard” lemonade. If you find yourself randomly near Mr. Squeeze, definitely get yourself these recipes!

Take it easy wastelanders and don’t go too hard on the lemonade!

– Lisafer

WELCOME to the FREAK SHOW!

The Freak Show: a place where raiders can go see things weirder than themselves! HA, I kid.. or do I? Have you guys been here? WHOA! I stumbled along this little place tucked beneath a cliff along Route 107 when I was trying to get away from Fort Defiance (It’s just a little North of there).

I just don’t know where to start. Should I talk about the warning signs about not feeding the animals or the heads on pikes? Lets go with the animals. We’re all used to the heads on pikes by now. Oh, I’m just joshin’ with ya. One of the first things you notice is all the junk. A truck serves as the ticket booth with a skeleton sitting in the back. Looks like this guy had some big dreams… ah, didn’t we all bud. Didn’t we all.

Walking further up I begin to grasp what kind of people these raiders are (if the heads on sticks didn’t getcha..) I mean, don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to die in the mouth of a rabid mole rat, but I also don’t think it deserves to be caged to let people shove drum sticks in it.

I will give them this, they ARE artists. Look at this stuff, even in death it still speaks to you! The detail they took to create this taxidermy… thing. The bobby pins holding everything together is great! AND THE BIKE! I mean, what use of bones!! Now that would be something to be proud to have made. I wish I could bring it home!

And this person? What were they thinking? Where where they coming from and where where they going? Heh, crazy times at the freak show!

I think one of the best parts about living in the wasteland is that the numbers of humans have been cut down dramatically. Humans really are mean and evil. I mean, look at the things I’ve done…. ok, lets maybe not look at those things… but my point, what I’m trying to get at, are these animals didn’t deserve this. The poor Honey Beast. I just hope it was dead before they used it as baseball practice.

Sports are good. they keep us in shape. I sprint everywhere I go. Rule #1, cardio! This sport though, I’m not sure what it was. Bowling for… through… radstags? Test your agility? Heh, give us your caps is more like it!

RUFUS! Who is this gentle soul who stayed by this persons side till death?! This is what REALLY gets me. The animals who made it through this hell with us and stay by our side. Gah, it get’s me.. who’s cutting the mutated onions…

..and just like that, the freak show is over. You are seen out by this wonderful art installation of a headless skeleton on top of a carousel horse. I think it’s a metaphor for life. Don’t take it too seriously.

-Lisafer

Have you found any other rad spots like this?

LET ME KNOW! I’d love to go take a look!

Welcome to the Dollhouse

Remember when I said the grass is always greener with C.A.M.P.S? Well… oops, I didn’t it again. I moved. I was going to move up north to the swamps and the awesome trees that make the best houses…. but that didn’t go over so well. Once those mirelurks found out where I was living, well, I couldn’t sleep at night! I ended up going back to the source, I moved back near the vault! I found a little patch of heaven and I wanted to share it with you: my house!

I’ve been calling this my “Open Face” style house – but it’s been referred to as a “dollhouse” style camp. I had built in this spot previously – it had a gentle incline and not a lot of wondering scorched. It was perfect for this style house. It doesn’t get too hot, nor too cold. It’s kind of just right. I even have my own watering hole with bonus beehives!

As you can see, I have 6 rooms and 1 bathroom. Really one room is like a shop, so it’s a more modest house out here in the Wasteland. I was able to cobble together some really good looking parts. Everything here is as new as I could find. I was very proud of the washroom sink. I can’t wait to find a matching tub and toilet!

Each room has it’s own theme and use. Keeping all my workbenches down on the first floor, I’m able to get all my work done asap so I can get back out into the wasteland! It’s been really busy lately with the new game that everyone got – The Legendary Run. When I wake up it’s the first thing I think about. I was able to score some really great “free” stuff in the mail from playing… but it’s kind of taken over my life. I don’t go out and explore as much as I would enjoy… but I did get a few shots of the nuke that went off near my house!

Let me see your C.A.M.P.s!

Post a picture below and show off your awesome work! I want to see your awesome builds, your quick set up, your rad tent locations. Anything & almost everything! I keep saying it’s like… it’s like nothing is real and we are all in a video gameSo lets have some fun! I can’t wait to see what you guys built!

– Lisafer

I guess I’m in the Army, Now?

WOW! Things couldn’t get any weirder and now I’m in the Army?! HA! I went out searching for some ballistic fiber and one thing leads to another and I’m talking to Master Sargent Gutsy and he’s wanting me to get dolled up to die for my country! Machines. So… cute?

As I run around looking for my uniform and hat, I come across a Sargent Gutsy saying “get a move on Cadette! You’re gonna miss the best part of the war!” Uh, Mr. Gutsy- there is no “best part of the war”. Well, it looks like I’ll humor the poor things and run their courses. Marksmanship, Agility, and Patriotism. Got it.

I decided to try my hand at the Agility course first. Sure as shucks – it was fun! I’ve always wanted to do one of these courses. Sure, it could have been more fun with some friends, but it’s a good thing I can cheer myself on – I sure needed it! I did see a few other Cadette’s as I was running it but they kept to themselves.

Next up is Patriotism! I was wondering why these mannequins were each in a fully furnished room… these wallpapers are great. Looks like I’ve got to go interview them… This will be the most interaction I’ve had with a humanoid all day! Now… which one of you is a commie… Dang! I guess being able to sniff out a commie could be the difference between life and death for you and your family.

Topher seems like the all American mannequin… though he IS missing clothing. I don’t think that’d go over well nowadays sir.

Topher

Jimmy loves the 4th of July. That’s just dripping with patriotism… right? Jimmy needs some clothing too.. but this is the wallpaper I like! Why is his terminal password protected? OH, it is someone he admires a lot. I read his diary and found it was FDR! Aw shucks, that boy. Aw man, this kid. Wonder if Mr. Morton is still around… Jimmy loves his pop.

JianJun sounds like a good kid as well! He moved from San Francisco and says it’s a lot colder here. He wants to own a car, or two! Dang. That’s a lot of cars. Why would he need so many cars? He sure loves America.

JianJun

OOOOhhhhhh… Getting back to the terminal I found out it’s really “Supporting a collective action” that is the gateway to becoming a Communist. Well, I guess It would have to be poor Jimmy. He was trying to protect his father and his friends’ dads… I don’t see how that is being red but… this is how they thought way back when.

Now for Marksmanship! One of my favorite things to do nowadays is shoot stuff. sometimes for fun, sometimes to stay alive. It depends on how much ammo I have left! I passed! Now for the live-fire course!! PSH – This course was nothing! I’ve come across scorched that was scarier than what they thought commies would be like!

Well, I flew past that with flying colors!! I was able to pick up enough ballistic fiber for my new armor plan! I’m very excited to craft and wear around some new armor! It should help me stealth better. At least it helped the original lady who wore it!

I am now a private and a member of the US Army.. so maybe besides Private Lucky, I’m an OK thing about being in the army, hehe.

OH Gnome You Didn’t!!

close the door

Hey Dwellers –

When wandering around the wasteland we sure do see a lot of weird stuff but we’ve become sort of desensitized to it. Scorched? Sure. Raiders? No problem. Blood Eagles? Just another thing to ward off. Windagos? I’ve got them mounted in my C.A.M.P. It’s just… the mannequins, gnomes, musical monkeys… and all those teddy bears. I just… I don’t know. I needed a space to record everything that I’ve come across. This will be my gnome space.

The pictures above really get me. Like, what were they doing? Was it some kind of initiation? Did they threaten the other gnome if he didn’t bury Jangles the Moon Monkey? And we don’t know what the monkey did. Maybe it was deserved? We’ll never know. Know why they are doing that… know how they are moving around like this… to know what they are trying to tell us.

Let me know if you have come across anything like this!! It’ll help add to my collection. Thanks, and see ya around in the wasteland!!

Flash! Bam! Wonderful… I Came By?

Since I had such a good time at Camden park I thought why not keep the amusement park theme going. Wavy Willards it is! Traveling North is always slower than going south.. I don’t know why… must be gravity or magic. We can’t rule anything out in the wasteland! Before starting out on the journey I make sure my bags are packed properly. I have enough food and water to last for days, as well as stem packs, disease cures, rad-x, and rad away. I get my trusty treasure hunter outfit on and this snazzy fedora I found earlier in the day. Then I see the armor I forgot to scrap… and the weapons? Ugh, I forgot to do chores!! Those can wait. Adventure is on the horizon!

Wavy Willards

I’m here, I made it – this place is awesome!! I wish I could have been here with some clean water and less scorched about (and truthfully, fewer raiders!). I had gotten a backpack from some mole miner traders a while back with this awesome safari crocolossus stuffed animal – and I FINALLY GET TO SEE IT IN REAL LIFE! I had no idea it was from here. I’m even more stoked I came.

Is that… Miss Annie?!

As I was snapping some pictures of this behemoth I noticed a Mrs. Handy Robot named Miss. Annie. She came up to me and was asking about a missing boy – one she took care of a long time ago. I guess they were here at Wavy Willards just before the bombs dropped. I don’t know why she thinks the boy would still be around, but I can humor the bot for a while. Miss. Annie requests that I review the Holo Tapes and see what I can see. I decided to go to the security office first. I mean, they HAD to have seen something. A place like this needs security.

Passed these guys… they look familiar!?

I found an office with a working terminal. It looked like the park had been reviewing the tapes. They had seen the boy near the Slither Slide talking to someone he looked as if he knew… Pete was the one who found it. Wow. They did have a security system in place.. it even recorded tapes of the bathroom! (Thanks for letting me know about this Tom – video footage review) So October 19th is when the boy was taken… but it looks like October 23rd he came back? I’ll be reviewing further…

In the tape, the guy says he has a surprise for the kid and not to share it with anyone… and that the nanny wouldn’t like it. The man talked the kid into taking off his ID so he could take him away and the nanny couldn’t find him.

So this guy is asking where the special box is.. the one that puts the staff on the ladder? What the heck? As I’m pondering all of this, I’m getting hungry. I grab some sugar bombs and go to toss my trash. I see a mailbox next to the trash can which has a letter to the local news department talking about Grafton Steel… about how it’s been polluting the water and killing people with the toxic sludge! The letter was addressed to a PO box in Clarksburg. Wait… did this guy… no, this can’t be.

I went back to the Slither Slide and end up finding a Kid Safe ID for Freddy Woods. This is the boys’ ID. It was hidden in a box. Oh no, I fear the worst. I need to get to Clarksburg and see what else is inside that PO Box. It’s just south of Wavy Willards too… lucky.

I’ve found the PO box no problem… well, no MAJOR problems…

It looks like Grafton Steel became the Governments preferred war contractor… They were just churning out stuff as fast as possible and not caring about what they were doing to the area around them – and that includes their workers. They fluffed numbers and used almost slave labor to get the job done for the government and the war.

Well, Otis Pike is the whistleblower. He sure was brave… except the part where he stole someone’s kid? I was able to figure it out pretty quickly – once I noticed that the terminal was still in working condition… Super glad the laws don’t really count nowadays or else I’d get into trouble for knowing this information! Now I’m off to Grafton. Wow, this is better than a soap opera!

I found Otis’ house. Right on the front counter, there was a letter to terminate his employment with Grafton Steel because he was spreading “propaganda” about the plant. What!? He was only trying to save the townsfolk! It’s almost like this company cared more for its profits rather than the people who help make those profits! OTIS WAS KIN!?! He was related to them! WHOA! DRAMA!! It was his in-laws! They married his sister! wow. no wonder. in-laws. shesh.

notes

So Otis took the evidence and told the media about it.. which caused his getting fired from his job which caused Otis to resort to more drastic measures… wow. So he decides to kidnap poor Freddy and ransom him for the safety of the whole community.

I searched for more clues at the dam. It looks like Freddy had no idea what was going on and started to hate his Uncle Otis. At the start of this adventure, he had a good time – getting a game and seeing new areas. Then Otis took his candy and made him sit still so he decided to use his scouts’ training (hey, I’m training to be a scout too!) to trap his uncle so he could escape! (He left notes all around the damn so I’m sleuthing it out as we go)

Where would a kid run to if not running away from? Home? They would want to run home – so I head there. Wow. That kid lived across the way from Wavy Willards! Lucky.. Well – he made it back home.. We can only hope the kid made it into his vault with his dad. Let us believe that he did and make it a happy ending story. AND Freddy made it home!

AAAwwwwwwwwwww

Miss Annie was happy to hear that her boy made it back in. It felt like a small victory in the understanding of our great big Wasteland.

A Horse is a Horse? Neigh… Not at Camden!

I was trudging across the Ash Heap region and decided to stop by good ol’ Camden Park. If you haven’t heard about it before – this is where Mr. Fuzzy can be found! It was an amusement park that had rides and stuff before the bomb. I heard they had “smile training” for some of the more… fleshy employees… Now the only things who hang out there are Scorched, ghouls, and Fuzzy Brenda. She misses her job something awful. Poor thing.

Mr. Fuzzy
The map in front of Camden Park. This guy couldn’t figure out where to go.

As I was thinking about how cool it would be to have these rides working and to be able to, you know, ride. I got to looking closer and noticed something I had never noticed before. The animals on the carousel were… different. Almost.. in pain?

Horse Shot with Arrows

I couldn’t stop zooming in to get a closer shot with my camera – the detail was amazing. Look at the little blood drops coming out where the horse was shot! Who would have thought to have done that! Did you see the horse with the lion trying to rip his neck out?! Crazy cool!

I think my favorite is the horse being eaten by a squid. It’s the artists’ style of a mashed up sea horse. How did the squid get to the horse? Do horses like to swim? Even a Lion Horse with his Pick Axe! How did it use an ax without thumbs?

What horse is your favorite?

The C.A.M.P. is always greener…

Once I decide to move I miss my old house terribly! I remember my first major house fondly.. it was… where was that again… Near the AVR Medical center. I moved into an already furnished place. That way all I had to bring was my main shop components and a few snazzy decorations. The only issue was all the super mutants. Every time I came home one was shooting at my water pump! What did that pump ever do to them!?

Your first house is like your first love… you never forget!

My second house was a stick-built using the contemporary housing modules. I decided to craft it on an abandoned train track. I had water, views, space to build. it was wonderful… and the hind site being what it is.. I wish I didn’t leave. BUT I must keep moving forward! Those blood eagles were a little TOO close for comfort.

A nice evening after the Faschnaut Day parade.

This house is also where I met my first wasteland animal friend – The Sloth. The slot and I were going to be great friends.. until he couldn’t find his way back home. After the Sloth left, I was able to bring Yaoguaii Bear home with me. He stayed around for a few days until those mutants came back. They killed my poor friend. I miss you Yaoguaii and sloth friend. (We don’t’ talk about the rad toad. he never even made it NEAR the house… idk)

The spot I’m currently residing in is a combination of both places. I have the Stick Built I love, size and shape that is awesome, but I also have the furnished garage with mother in law unit (if it had doors) and I had a mother in law. This is one of the only spots on the map that grows pumpkins! FRESH PUMPKINS! We also get the random Scorch Beast and I have my own cult of the Mothman group nearby.

I’m keeping an eye out for the best spots to build. Do you know of any? Let me know!

Just turn me loose… in Allegheny Asylum, West Virginia

Sleep... forever

As I crept up to the gates of the Asylum I noticed that the people of the past are frozen in place. I do not know why they wanted to get in there so bad. Maybe something large was chasing them… Walking inside the asylum, you most definitely the chills. Like, some crazy stuff has gone down.. and you find yourself wondering what some of these people’s last moments were like. I was able to find one of the famous “Man Masks” but as soon as I put it on it felt as if nothing was real.. like, it was just all a game.

Once I saw the flamingos creeping in on the mannequin, I knew i had to get out before things got even weirder.